Originally published by Riley on Medium in 2017 used with permission by the original author
My name is Riley, and I am what is known as a "Virtuous Pedophile" I am currently 20 years old. I first realized that I was attracted to kids at the age of 14. I am attracted to kids, but I WILL NOT sexually abuse a child. EVER!
I write this post to help people understand pedophilia and understand what it is actually like to be a pedophile. I feel that we are judged harshly, and mistreated, even though we do not deserve to be. We are human beings too. As you read this, I ask you to read with a non-judgemental, open mind.
Wikipedia defines pedophilia as the following:
"Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children."
Just because someone is a pedophile DOES NOT mean that are a child sexual abuser. Only some child sexual abusers show signs of pedophilia. Just because we are attracted to children does not mean that we are attracted to them because they are weak. A huge common misconception about pedophiles is that we are attracted to children because we feel as if we can dominate the child and that we get off o the notion of raping a child. This is simply NOT TRUE. I have no thoughts of raping any child whatsoever.
I feel that the biggest problem is that most people's definition of a pedophile is what they see on TV or in the news. Let's take Muslims for example. Often times, when we see Muslims on the news, they are being associated with terrorism. Does this mean that all Muslims are terrorists? Absolutely not! Then, are all pedophiles rapists? Absolutely not! The terms pedophile and child molester are often conflated. A pedophile isn't necessarily a child molester, just like a child molester isn't necessarily a pedophile.
Some recent research suggests that pedophilia is not a choice. MRIs of sex offenders with pedophilia show abnormal levels of white matter in their brains. Men with pedophilia are three times more likely to be left-handed or ambidextrous than non-pedophiles. They also score lower on tests of visual-spatial ability and verbal memory. Based on this, society is ridiculing people based off of attractions that they didn't even choose! The fact I'm trying to get to is that you cannot choose who you are attracted to. That's it. It's simple
Let's get this straight. It is not wrong to be a pedophile. A pedophile is simply just a person who is attracted to children. That in of itself is not wrong. Not morally, and not legally. It only becomes wrong when you start to sexually abuse children. Something that is an unchosen biological trait, and not an act cannot be morally judged (and also cannot be illegal). Pedophilia is not a behavior or action, and a pedophile is not someone who has sex with children, it is someone who is sexually attracted to children.
Being a pedophile is as wrong as being gay, blond, or left-handed. That is, not wrong at all. I will repeat this again: society is hating on a select group of individuals where the majority of us are not even doing anything wrong. We live normal lives. We have normal relationships. We have normal jobs. We are just typical people with an abnormality in the brain. That is it. That is all it is.
Here is something else to think about. What if the pedophile was sexually abused as a child? I'm 20, and I was sexually abused between the ages of 5 and 15. I know what it feels like to be sexually abused. I'm never going to do it to anyone else. The abuse has done much psychological damage to me. I would not wish it upon anyone else.
We are fighting. Everyday. We don't want this as much as society wants it. But we have to deal with it. It is painful. It causes me much distress and discomfort. I didn't want this. I didn't choose this. It just happened. It is the same for every pedophile there is. We didn't choose to be the way we are. It just came to us. We got dealt a bad hand. That's it. It's that simple. Would you want to be treated like garbage for something you couldn't even control? I didn't think so.
The moral of this is, please, please, please think twice before you judge someone based on who they are attracted to. We haven't done anything wrong. We are humans too. We deserve just as much respect as you do.